Every group of friends, however big or small, consists of many different characters. The quiet ones, the cocky storytellers, the cool kids, the wallflowers, the clowns…
Today we want to present a very special kind of character and explain to you why every group needs especially this kind of friend in their life.
She’s never beating about the bush, because she is not afraid to always say everything exactly as it is. She’s funny, even if her humour is sometimes a bit mean or now and then she likes to have fun at your expense. You don’t want to mess with her, because no matter how small she may be, or how innocent she looks, she’s never afraid to go head-to-head with someone (and usually comes out of it victoriously).
Thankfully, she's your friend and you know that she’ll always tells you if you’re out of line and most importantly that despite everything else she’ll always have your back.
That description seems familiar? Well, that probably means you have a Lyds in your friend group! Why that’s a good thing (and sometimes still sucks)? We’re looking forward to explaining exactly that!
As we said before, a Lyds is the kind of friends that always tells you the truth without babying you or your feelings. You want to know if the outfit you put together for your next date actually looks as good on you as you think? Ask your Lyds, because she’d never let you go anywhere in an ill-fitting dress just to spare your precious feelings.
Speaking of dates … if she had the feeling that something fishy is going on with your potential new suitor she’d be the first to tell you even if you really don’t want to hear her concerns in that specific moment.
On the other hand she’d be the first at your side if the date went south. Of course she wouldn’t even try to console or coddle you but would instead find 100 different reasons why that moron wasn’t good enough for you anyway. And should she be the only one that even knows of that horrible failed date it’s definitely going to stay that way. Every Lyds is like a vault and would never break your trust by giving away your secrets.
To summarise: a Lyds will
- never lie to you
- never sugar coat the truth just to go easy on you
- always have your back and defend you if necessary
- fight for you if you can’t do it yourself
- never treat you like a delicate little flower
- make you laugh often … even about yourself
- take your secrets to the grave with her
While all of this might sound great in theory, in reality it often leads to misunderstandings, fights or worst of all to the end of the friendship. Because even though every Lyds deep down means well…sometimes words hurt and the truth even more so.
So, the next time your Lyds tells you an uncomfortable truth in a not exactly empathetic manners and your first impulse is to never speak to her again … just take a deep breath and try to really think about it in a calm manner.
Your Lyds is your friend, right? So, she’d never hurt you on purpose. On the contrary. Your Lyds only wants what is best for you even if while doing so she says really mean things and hurts your feeling
But not talking to each other or even ending the friendship is not an acceptable solution.
What to do?
Our tip? Talk, talk, talk!
Your friend’s words – however honest or well-meant they were – have hurt you deeply? Tell her then! In all likelihood she never intended to upset you.
Simply explain to your friend what it was exactly that hurt you. Her choice of words? Her tone of voice? Did she seem unkind? Or did she even overstep and tamper with something that’s none of her business?
You’re friends and friends can tell each other everything. Your Lyds never minces matters and always gives you a piece of her mind? So why not pay her back in kind and simply tell her how bad you feel because of her words and how she could change to do better in the future.
Because one thing is very clear: even though your Lyds always seems cool and like she doesn’t let anything, or anyone come near her … you are super important to her and she most definitely doesn’t want to lose you!
At this point we also want to call attention to the sad fact that there’s another type of character that sometimes weasels it’s way into a group of friends:
The kind of “friend” that only pretends to stay by your side, that makes jokes only at the expense of others, that twists the truth to manipulate you and only tells you those things you want to hear or those that help her in some way. The kind of “friend” that slowly sneaks up on you and into your life, until you tell her all of your secrets which she’ll use against you sooner or later.
Sadly it’s hard to differentiate between the real and the fake-Lyds in the beginning.
Here are some sign that might help you recognise a fake-Lyds before it’s too late:
- Everything she does is for her own enjoyment (even if you’re part of that enjoyment)
- You’re often the punchline to her jokes even though it hurts you, which she knows of course, which is also the reason why she constantly apologizes for it
- The fake-Lyds never makes jokes at her own expense (while the real one can totally laugh about herself)
- She treats you differently depending on whether you are in public or in private, especially if there’s someone around who she thinks is more “interesting” than you
Of course we wish you’d never encounter a fake-Lyds, but should it ever come to that don’t ever forget that somewhere your real Lyds is already waiting to joke about it with you.